Thursday, January 18, 2018

Missing.

Assalamualaikum and hi. I don't know why i feel so tired today. Maybe because i started to go to rugby training after so long i didn't go for the training. I have a friendly game with other university this Sunday and honestly i'm nervous because we didn't train long enough and its been a while since the last time we had a match.

   Today i met my boyfriend after he finished his class. Finally. After days been missing and didn't text each other. I missed him so much that i feel like the first thing i want to do when i meet him is to hug him but i can't because people will be watching us. This time, we meet less than 1 hour because tadi pun sebab sementara tunggu kawan kawan dia datang jemput. But at least we met.

   Then i thought that tonight i want to meet him even by walking because that's the only option that we have. But, he went missing again. I'm being paranoid when he went missing like this and didn't text me. I know it shouldn't be a big deal about texting each other but you know, communication is the key. We both are lack in communication. I don't know what he is up to, if he is okay or not, and he also doesn't know what i am up to and if i am okay or not.

    I didn't text him first in a day is not because i have that mind set that guys should text their girl first. No. I just wanted to know how important i am to him if he ever think about me. I know there are a lot of things that we should think of but....i don't know. Maybe i'm just influenced by my surrounding, how my friends and their boyfriends treat each other, how they always communicate with each other.

   I know i should be used to this situation because its not my first time facing this kind of things. But you know, after our arguments, after days not seeing each other, after our awful days because of our results, i need him. I don't know if he feels the same too, if he ever need me.

   That's why sometimes i hate my overthinking. It becomes worst when we rarely communicate and when we are having a hard time to meet each other. I love him so much that i can sacrifice anything for him. Its been a while since i didn't cry because i miss him so much and tonight, i can't take it anymore. I cried.

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