Saturday, July 15, 2017

I'm Sorry

Assalamualaikum and hi (<-- benda wajib everytime nak update entry haha) so rasanya hari ni nak update bahasa rojak je kot and mostly bahasa Melayu sebab nanti banyak grammatical error :p

   So just nak share what's on my mind sebab malas nak tulis dekat diary hari ni. Typing is easier. Lets start.

   Hari tu, i'm asking such questions dekat boyfriend. I tanya did he still love me the same or stronger or fading. I tanya soalan macam tu because of lately tak communicate (at that time la. Sekarang i guess better ? At least whatsapp every night) So when i asked that kind of question, dia jawab "your choice". I never understand why is it my choice. I tanya dia why is it my choice but then dia jawab "your choice la". I guess kalau i don't have that kind of patience, dah gaduh kot masa tu ? So i answered that i hope his love for me is still the same or stronger, not fading and hoping that kitaorang less communicate sebab dia busy. Bukan sebab dia dah tak interested nak whatsapp. Guess what happened after that ? Dia tak balas T.T

   Seharian dia tak balas lansung and esoknya pun seharian dia tak ws. Aku pun diam je lah maybe he needs time. TAPI bila dia tak balas tu, dia buat aku terfikir apa yang aku cakap tu tak betul. So dia tak sampai hati nak deny, dia diam je tak balas apa. I'm overthink again isnt it ?

   So in the end, aku mengalah and whatsapp dia malam tu saying that i miss him and actually hoped that he whatsapp me and said that he missed me. No replies. Maybe dia dah tidur masa aku hantar ws. I cried a lot that night. Such a crybaby. Haih. Then i'm hoping yang esok dia ws cakap sorry or said something yang meyakinkan like "yes i still love you the same/stronger. Dont think too much. Saya busy these days and banyak masalah. Thats why tak balas ws awak". Tapi harapan tinggal harapan.

   But then, think dari positive side, at least dia ws the next day saying that he missed me more than i do. Tu pun i actually tweeted before that that i missed him. But i switched off my phone lepas tweet tu haha. Rupanya lepas tu dia tweet "whatsapp tak balas pulak" something like that. Yelaaa i off phone sebab tak nak tahu dia ws ke tak. Takut kecewa ha ha ha. Since dia dah ws tu, kitaorang contact macam biasa but waktu siang, i guess dia busy so tak ws sangat but malam okay. But still no morning wishes but i dont want to make it as an issue. So i just whatsapp him good morning first.

   Jadi, ni lah yang tersimpan setakat ni. Awak, i know you are very busy lately and tak bukak my blog sangat dah kot so i wrote here and leave it here je. I'm sorry tak bagi tahu you straight forward dekat whatsapp sebab i tak nak spoil our good times together sebab nak dapat whatsapp dengan you reply laju bukannya senang T.T If you baca, i just wanted to say that i still love you the same and i hope you feel the same. Remember you promised me to always be honest ? So i harap you tak hide apa apa from i. I trust you. I'm looking forward for more good memories to be kept and remember. I love you.

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