Monday, May 15, 2017

Its All About You

Assalamualaikum and hi. I just came back from KL this afternoon and now i'm chilling myself by watching kdrama. So i just finished 1 episode and i think that's enough for today. Because right now i'm feeling like to write something and it is about nae namja cinggu.

   What makes me want to write about him is that, i have this thoughts on how i bravely take the risk for giving him a second chance last year and alhamdulillah we are still together till now. So i wanted to write about that.

   This guy, i met him when we were in our foundation year. I was having my lunch with my bestfriend at that time and suddenly he came. We just knew each other just like that until this one time he suddenly approach me when i was alone at the cafe doing some lecture notes. To make it short, he ask permission to use my cellphone because he said that he was bored and his cellphone is out of battery. Since i didn't keep any secret in my phone and he is not a stranger to me at that time, so i gave him my phone. Suddenly he saved his contact number in my phone and asked me to call him so that he can get my number. But i ignored that request for weeks because i thought that he was joking. After weeks, he asked for my number through my roommate as he knew my roommate. My roommate asked for my permission of course but i just thought that maybe he just wanted to be friends so i said yes and my roommate gave my number to him. We texted each other and i did rejected him but well, i accepted him at last because finally i fall for him. Then months past, something happened between us (can be referred at my previous entry) so we ended up our relationship.

   After almost a year of moving on, he came back for a second chance. At that time, honestly i almost completely moving on. But since he came, we talked to each other as usual and i'm satisfied with our conversation because i managed to ask him what's on my mind and i got an explanation from him face to face. So what makes me give him a second chance ? The first thing is, because i still have feelings towards him and second, it is because i truly believe that he will change and he will become a better man. I know since we get back together, my level of insecurities becomes very high and i'm very very insecure because i'm afraid of the same thing might happened again. I'm being very paranoid. But he is still there, bearing with my insecurities and overthinking with his fullest patience and he never blame me for being insecure and overthinking. He admit his mistakes and always say sorry for his mistakes towards me. Sometimes i almost giving up on him because he ignored me quite often at first, but thinking that he is a very understanding man, knew so much about me and of course thinking that i can't live without him that makes me to stay. To be honest, i did pray if he is the one for me, then make it happened. I'm not saying right now that he is my jodoh because we don't know what might happened in the future. But i'm hoping and pray that he is the last one for me. I don't think i will love another guy the same after this like the way i love him. Thank you for staying dear boyfriend. <3

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