Saturday, April 8, 2017

Overthinking

Assalamualaikum and hi ! How's your day going ppl ? I feel sleepy right now padahal hari ni i woke up at 12 noon haha. I don't know why but i love to sleep because i think when i'm asleep, i can prevent myself from overthinking and worrying about the things that i shouldn't worry about.

   You know, i realized that i'm easily overthinking about something. I don't know why. I tried to not overthinking over something but...i just don't know. Like yesterday, my boyfriend suddenly tweeted about that particular person should be grateful when he still text you when he is high af. Then i started overthinking, thinking that he texted someone else because at that time when he tweeted about that, we were not texting because he is the one who didn't reply my text lol. So yesterday when we met, he explained about the tweet and lastly he said "Jangan overthinking okay?" God i feel so touched at that time because the way he said that and the expression on his face really made me think that "Man, this guy really concerned about my overthinking habit"  (but i didn't show him yesterday how touched i am haha). I am that kind of person who appreciate all the little things that people do for me, easily laugh through silly jokes which some people might not laugh with that jokes, and easily overthinking and emotional. Everything seems easily happened to me right ? I really appreciate to have friends and family around me who can adapt and understand with my attitude and thanks to boyfriend too because you are very understanding. I really love you and blessed to have you.

   But today, i feel like i'm a useless daughter. Its been a long time since i met my mother. I don't know why is it so hard for me to meet my mother and spend the days with her. I really miss her. Tomorrow is her birthday and i feel SO SO BAD because i'm not able to do anything for my mother. And today, the day before her birthday, my little brother injured. Terkena air panas and dia injured like, very bad :( I am sad because i was not there to help my mother bring my little brother to hospital and stay beside her when she is at her lowest. I called my mother to comfort her but she said that she is not comfortable to talk at that moment. Besides that, i texted my father just to say hi and it seems like he is also not in a good mood.

   When all of these things happened, i feel so down and i really need a shoulder to cry on. I wanted to talk to my roommate about this but she seems busy with her assignments and my housemate too. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend but he seems so tired because he didn't sleep for 2 days because of his assignments and reports so i don't want to bother him too.

   I should face this by myself. I know i can do it. I shouldn't depend on people too much.

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