Sunday, February 5, 2017

Afraid.

Hi assalamualaikum. So i just done hias my club's booth for Minggu Mesra Kampus tomorrow. And now, i'm waiting all alone, at our usual spot for my boyfriend to finish his decorating for his event.
     I cried a lot today. I can feel like something might happened between us just like what happened a year ago. So i decided to settle things down tonight but i'm not sure if he wanted to meet me or not. I don't know what am i doing here alone, waiting for him yang tak sure memang datang ke tak kejap lagi. He asked me to stop blamming myself but i can't stop from feeling like this is all my fault. I'm afraid that he might leave me again. Just like what he did a year ago. I wanted to settle things properly. I'm not strong enough to face the fact that i'm no longer with him. He is one of the reason why i'm here, he is the reason why i wanted to become a better person, a better future wife for him, he is one of the reason why i'm happy, and he is the place that i can be manja with and to tell what's going on my days.
     I'm afraid that, lepas dah lama tunggu dia dekat sini, in the end, he will just left me like that, or tell me that he went out to eat, or he will say 'next time'. At this moment, i'm just hoping that Allah will help me and give me strength to face all of this. I just wanted to meet him for a while and settle things properly instead of leaving me hanging.