Friday, March 4, 2016

Sorry.

Assalamualaikum and hi ! Salam Jumaat to the Muslims. Alhamdulillah for today and may today be better than yesterday. Amin.
So, it looks like the previous entry is not the last entry about my already-ex-boyfriend. I'm gonna tell you guys about him. Again. Sorry for that. Hahaha. (well i know no one is reading this. thats why i love to write here)

   So, a day ago, on 2nd March 2016 (which the next day, 3rd March is our 4th monthsary if we were still together), he whatsapp-ed me and say sorry for everything that he have done. He admit his mistakes and he said that i can put the blame on him. I was shocked to the max because i didn't expect at all that he will text me back and say sorry. I thought that he really hates me and not gonna keep in touch with me anymore. Then i just answered "okayyyy" . But, it just stops there. He didn't reply anything after that.

    I don't know why, but i'm still hoping that he will text me back and ask for a second chance. But i know its better if i did not put hope on things like this. Whats the point of getting back together if he will do the same mistake that he did before ? But well, i shouldn't have much thought about this because it will never happened i think. Damn. I hate myself because i still have that feeling towards him even tho he did many mistakes to  me.

    I also don't know whether he already declared with that girl or not. If they already declared, then, i should not bother about them anymore. I just hope that he will not do the same mistakes and i just hope that they are happy together. I feel like i'm a dumb for saying this but whats the point if i hope for the bad things to happen to people ? its really not good to have that attitude.
 
   So hey, if you are reading this, please take care of your girl and be the best for her. Don't treat your girl like the way you treat me and be serious with her. I mean, serious relationship. Be a grown up man. If you want to keep playing people's heart, what will you get ? People like that don't deserve any good women in the world. Be matured please. And, i, don't know why but i'm still into you but if you are not then, its okay. I think i just need more time to move on.
 
   You know what is your mistakes ? The mistakes is that you did not appreciate people who love you sincerely and i'm surprised that i accepted all the flaws that you have when i'm with you. And you also lied to me. It hurts. I keep waiting and giving you a chance (if you realize) to tell me the truth. I don't mind if you tell me that you are interested in other girl or you have another girlfriend. I just wanted to know the truth. The truth may be painful but at least i know and i can make my own way. I know i must have been do some mistakes to. I know i'm a boring girlfriend but that is because i just don't know how to treat a boyfriend after a long time since i have one. And its a few years back. I also didn't have the chance to meet my boyfriend before this like we meet every weekend, I hope that you understand and give me the time to be a better partner. But then, you find someone else or maybe you already have someone else when you were with me. So that is why i decided to break up with you because i just, i'm not strong enough okay. And if i keep hanging on also, you will not appreciate my existence.

   But hey, thanks for the time that you have spent with me, the money that you spent for food for me, and the ferrero roche, and all the good things that happened when we were still together. I will remember and i appreciated that moment.
 
   I'm sad with myself because being so weak...
Sincerely,
Batrisyia